never let me go
by everett20
Summary: she watches him him from a distance, trying not to love him.
1. Chapter 1

Never let me go 

She sees him walking down the corridor. It's lunch time now and he is a few meters from her. She always recognizes him by his hair that seem to shine in the ocean of brown and black heads. She feels a pain somewhere in her chest as she notices her by his side. They are holding hands, talking and laughing. They seem perfect together . It is already a month since they started dating and she knows it's not long when he dumps her for another beauty. She knows he never goes out longer than six weeks. She also knows she should fell compassion towards the girl who is so happy now and will be a complete misery by Sunday. But she doesn't. To be honest, she is rather grateful that the girl will get a small dose of her everyday feelings.

I am a terrible person. I never knew I could have these hateful feelings towards anyone. But I never knew jealousy before. It all started at the beginning of our seventh year. He made a Head Boy, and there was no doubt that I will become a Head Girl. We did all our duties quite smoothly, but I always knew that he despises talking and working with me. That if it was his way I would clean floors in his house, not share the same honors, because in his eyes I was only a filthy mudblood. But he is mature now so he talks and works with me and I want to scream every time he looks at me.

So how could I end like this? In love with the only person who knowing my true feelings would laugh at me for years. Well, I cannot give you an honest answer, because I don't know one. There is his angelic, yet very masculine looks, there are our arguments about work, which are more interesting than conversations with my friends, there is always the fact that I understand his humors and emotions more than everyone else, including his parents and friends or any of his gorgeous girlfriends. You may think that I'm crazy but I can really read him like the most interesting book and I just never get bored. So you have no idea how it kills me watching him kissing this beautiful purebloob a few meters before me.

But I have no more tears to shed so I follow them to the Great Hall, because it's lunch time.


	2. Chapter 2

Dreamgirl

He never looks at her. Even when she talks to him, about some stupid homework or any new book she had read, he looks somewhere above her shoulder or pretends to be highly interested in a book he's not reading. That's because he knows. He can tell that if he only looked at her she would see every single hour he's been thinking or dreaming of her. She would see it in his eyes.

His feelings, his true feelings that should have never existed. Cause their wrong, they are all wrong and he is a cursed man to have them. He doesn't know when exactly did he start having these emotions. He supposes they were always there, he just never called them for what they truly were. Or maybe he was too blind too see them.

All that matters now is that he closes his eyes and sees her, opens them and sees her smiling at him. And he sees love and care in her eyes and he wants to scream and throw things at her, cause she doesn't know that her love and care is not all he wants, not exactly what he needs. But how can he explain it to her? How could she understand that her best friend, almost a brother to her has such as thoughts about her.

She would hate him forever. Or no, she would not hate him, she would love him even more, blaming herself for pain she couses him with her inability to return his feelings. Because she does not have them and she would probably never have and he would not stand forcing her to them. So instead he goes around, studies and plays quidditch. He goes out from time to time, just to keep everyone happy. Sometimes he wonders how much pain he has to suffer in his life. And if it is really worth it. But he has only himself and his shattered hart to blame.

So he smiles back at her sitting on the next chair in a Great Hall. It's lunch now but he's not hungry. So ain't the girl sitting next to him. But they smile at each other because they aren't called friends for nothing. But right now Harry Potter wonders how much his friends truly know him and when he notices Hermione throwing glances at Slytherin Table, he wonders how much does he actually know about his dreamgirl. 


End file.
